hi.. i know i've been absent from lj for quite a while and coming back with a rant post ist sort ofstrange but i've been thinking and want to get the thoughts out of my system. warning: if you can't stand to hear thought against fanfiction reading and writing - don't read this. if you expect issues of copyright, don't read it either, its not that kind of rant.
you probably know, there are two kinds of roleplayers around : the ones that wield funky dice and those that wield whips and sexy lingery. well.. there is a third kind that derives from both sides, but makes do with a keyboard for props..
i'm talking about anime fanfiction forum rpgs... in whatever combination. thats nice and all, but mixing these different kinds of rpg together seems to me like something that is at least worth a second thought before you embrace it.
im following 2 different thoughts here
1) sharing slash fiction is the same as sharing pornography
2) roleplaying sex and affection fills emotional needs, probably better dealt with in a relationship
1) lets just be adult about it and admit, that most slash fiction is written and read withe the goal of arousal. we might feel superior about it, since it can be well written and at least needs you to be literate. but when it comes down to the basics, a porn movie won't get me off, but a good slash story might. how about you? if you are one of the few people looking all o ver the web for stories that innocently explain a part of a chraracters background to you, that doesnt get dealt with in canon, feel free to imagine youself crossed of the list, but i assume most people read slash fiction for the kick. and if they don't earn they money from it they most probably write it for that same kick. thats nothing bad. nothing to be ashamed of, but lets just not lie about it either. so, if you catch your boyfriend watching internet porn, dont get mad since you're doing the very same thing.
watching porn on the internet or reading random stories that make you feel all tingly inside is innocent enough. but when you roleplay and create those dtories togethdr, you actually don't play by youself anymore.
now.. what would you think if you found out you boyfriend not only watches porn, but goes with a best friend to a porn show where they both watch and offer suggestions what the strippers should do to the other one? ok, maybe i distraced you from my point wkith this one. but there is a reason, why using sex toys together, watching porn together or habing phone sex and so on counts towards sexual activity.
its not the same as having sex with each other, but its not the same as not having sex with eavh other either.
i probably come off as a prude now, but all i want to say is that getting each other off is not nothing. you can do that and i won't blame you the least bit, but please go ahead and admit that its a sexual activity you are doing.. with each other.
2) off your head: what is the biggest turn on? every person has their own favorites of. ourse, but being wanted, feeling loved and understood is probably on every list. did you never go out with someone, because they way he or she looked at youmadeyou feel special?
of couse, romance is a big part of most good stories. so excluding it from all pen and paper gaming feels arkward and makes for those stories most female gamers get so little out of. come on, even the most basic fairy tales and computer games have a save the princess and marry her motive. so including romance into the game seems natural and like an easy match. its also probably no game changer on slapstick or traditional hack and slay games. with storytelling games, youprobably expect the pkayers to play outtheir crushes and escapades. still no problem, right? well, in a lot of cases, it probably isn't. but just imagine going to a rpg meeting every week, with someone telling you he loves you, trying to impress you, to make you laugh. ok, not you, your character. still, how does that make you feel? maybe its just a game for a while, but it really plays on some emotional needs everyone has. so, what. does it do to your mind if youzr boyfriend is not so attentive right now, but there is this gamer/character, that makes you feel loved every time? that you get into all sorts of crazy situations with, so you share all this memories and jokes. sure, its not reality and you know that. but guess what? you only have one brain and fake memories are stored right next to the real ones.
again,this is nothing bad in itself. so you feel good, when your character gets attention.. big deal... its just so easy to get real feelings and fake ones mixed up, so you might end up in the middle of an emotional mess without anyone seeing this coming.
so, my whole point is to be a bit more concious abojut the worlds were're building a nd the messages we are sending. its just a game doesnt quite cut it. it may be a game but it can hurt you or other people just the same. it can also be good for you, of course. just be honest with youself about it.
so, im expexting a lot of people to complain about this one. go ahead and do that. i didnt talk about anyone in particular, its just something i had on my mind. and i might be conservative after all...
also, please excuse the typos, i'm still. new to typing on a virtual keyboard, but ill spare you my thoughts on tablets for another day.
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
- Current Location:Bochum, Bergstraße,
I really hope you have a great day ... if you like the heart picture, feel free to print it out to use as a card (bigger sizes are always availabe on my google+ account since I host them there ..)
( First .. the results from last time..Collapse )
I'm not totally thrilled this time... maybe because this wasn't quite in line with my "trying out new stuff" idea. Basically I ended up doing things I did before and it went sort of slow for me.
So .. I'd really appreciate some ideas :)
I also got a bit sidetracked because I realized that I really need to spend some time exploring landscapes and posing - but both isn't particularly inventive per se. I thought about calling off this experiment to give me time to work on the other stuff - but chances are I would never get my a*** up again, so I'll try to stick with it and do both.
I think for the next Challenge I'll go with using stamps to create textures.
I realized there are some very nifty stamps out there like these
Stamps1
Stamps2
that actually lend themselfs for use in backgrounds and designs and I guess (and here I cleverly pursue the multimedia idea :) ) that you should be able to do most things you can do with fancy photoshop brushes with real life stamps too (though you can't scale and flip them sadly..)
using real life obcets to create textures might be fun, too.
Ideas:
- create your own stamps from simple erasers.. already tried that and it didn't turn out too bad... this is here mainly because I can't seem to get hold of the cool stams i'd like for a reasonable price over here..
- use grungy stamps for backgrounds or textures in drawings
- use objects like nets, fabric, leaves and jewelry to create shapes and textures.
Like I said - I'd love to hear some new ideas!
First - thank you, 
andartha
for joining in and showing me your picture- I think you did really well, even though it turned out unlike you planned :)
I finally got around to try the brushes in a samll digital doodle and I'm really happy with the result
(please ignore that the shirt is very much something no guy would wear, ok?)
I didn't really get around to do lace stock photos, sadly, since it seems to be always dark when I might get around to that so i#ll skip it for now. Maybe I#ll come back to this idea.
so lets move on to the next Challenge:
I decided to do something with pastell pencils, since I got myself some new last week :)
I used them before over silvester and discovered its really easy to use them to shade Manga style pictures.I'd like to expand this approach by using a style similiar to what a few manga artists do with computer coloring. I imagine you should also be able to do these nifty airbrush like colors some Royo pictures.
so:
1st Idea: draw a manga /bishi style picture (I guess if you just want to follow along with the coloring you can also just print out your favorite linearts...) shade the picture with pastell pencis or other pastells ..
http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/3721
don't try to stay inside the lines, just shade in different tones, smudging them and as a last part erase the color outside the lines. This will probably need to be set with fixative of some kind. should come out sort of like this:
http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm220/h
2nd Idea: use the pencills for a cloudlike background for a figurine for something like this: http://imalbum.aufeminin.com/album/D2007
monochrome colors and a slightly tinted paper might work well.
3rd: working on colored paper
4th: sort of did this with the lace idea: scan pencil drawings to use as brushes, since the texture might work nicely.
5th: mixedmedia with something I wanted to do anyway: print out a very light photograph and work it over with pastells..(I'll need to repeat this with acrylics but I somehow don't like to work with paint when its cold and dark .. don't know why..)
Feel Free to post suggestions and your own pictures!!
andarthafor joining in and showing me your picture- I think you did really well, even though it turned out unlike you planned :)
I finally got around to try the brushes in a samll digital doodle and I'm really happy with the result
(please ignore that the shirt is very much something no guy would wear, ok?)
I didn't really get around to do lace stock photos, sadly, since it seems to be always dark when I might get around to that so i#ll skip it for now. Maybe I#ll come back to this idea.
so lets move on to the next Challenge:
I decided to do something with pastell pencils, since I got myself some new last week :)
I used them before over silvester and discovered its really easy to use them to shade Manga style pictures.I'd like to expand this approach by using a style similiar to what a few manga artists do with computer coloring. I imagine you should also be able to do these nifty airbrush like colors some Royo pictures.
so:
1st Idea: draw a manga /bishi style picture (I guess if you just want to follow along with the coloring you can also just print out your favorite linearts...) shade the picture with pastell pencis or other pastells ..
http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/3721
don't try to stay inside the lines, just shade in different tones, smudging them and as a last part erase the color outside the lines. This will probably need to be set with fixative of some kind. should come out sort of like this:
http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm220/h
2nd Idea: use the pencills for a cloudlike background for a figurine for something like this: http://imalbum.aufeminin.com/album/D2007
monochrome colors and a slightly tinted paper might work well.
3rd: working on colored paper
4th: sort of did this with the lace idea: scan pencil drawings to use as brushes, since the texture might work nicely.
5th: mixedmedia with something I wanted to do anyway: print out a very light photograph and work it over with pastells..(I'll need to repeat this with acrylics but I somehow don't like to work with paint when its cold and dark .. don't know why..)
Feel Free to post suggestions and your own pictures!!
is anyone besides us still playing Changeling?
Its a great system, though it seems to have a lot of blank areas (I guess in a novel it would be plot holes). Like - you can play a Nocker - sort of like a steampunk engeneer, but the rules for creating magical and mundane Items are sketchy at best. Some people made up their own rules for that buts its still much of a hassle (and after reading through all I could find I'm still fuzzy on the differences between creating magical items, chimeras, goblins and treasures *sigh*)
http://dreamaddiction.de/extras/RPG/nock
Anyway .. I decided to make it nicer if not easier for myself by creating sort of a workshop page to have the different rolls spelled out and collect notes, successes and so on. Its meant be used like this:
Name your project.
Start doing rolls for Planning, Material gathering, Building, enchanting and Testing your item or chimera.
Your game master will have to decide how much of this you may do at once. You basically need to collect 5 successes for each field.
This means an item will need 25 base successes + the number noted in the Progress field. these add up, so for a Level 1 Item you need 26 successes, for a level 3 item you need 37.
You can gain the additional successes in any roll, even while you're still filling the 5 default successes.
Any botches you roll are marked on the meter in the top left and give one additional flaw per botch. If you gain more botches then double the item level, the creation flails completely.
The toolbox lets you note if you used a premade plan, assistants or whatever else in your creation.
I hope this is helpful - or at least fun.
Last I need to note that I din't do the top border illustration but couldn't resist using a net find here. I hope its ok since this is a free gaming aid only.
Its a great system, though it seems to have a lot of blank areas (I guess in a novel it would be plot holes). Like - you can play a Nocker - sort of like a steampunk engeneer, but the rules for creating magical and mundane Items are sketchy at best. Some people made up their own rules for that buts its still much of a hassle (and after reading through all I could find I'm still fuzzy on the differences between creating magical items, chimeras, goblins and treasures *sigh*)
http://dreamaddiction.de/extras/RPG/nock
Anyway .. I decided to make it nicer if not easier for myself by creating sort of a workshop page to have the different rolls spelled out and collect notes, successes and so on. Its meant be used like this:
Name your project.
Start doing rolls for Planning, Material gathering, Building, enchanting and Testing your item or chimera.
Your game master will have to decide how much of this you may do at once. You basically need to collect 5 successes for each field.
This means an item will need 25 base successes + the number noted in the Progress field. these add up, so for a Level 1 Item you need 26 successes, for a level 3 item you need 37.
You can gain the additional successes in any roll, even while you're still filling the 5 default successes.
Any botches you roll are marked on the meter in the top left and give one additional flaw per botch. If you gain more botches then double the item level, the creation flails completely.
The toolbox lets you note if you used a premade plan, assistants or whatever else in your creation.
I hope this is helpful - or at least fun.
Last I need to note that I din't do the top border illustration but couldn't resist using a net find here. I hope its ok since this is a free gaming aid only.
Hi .. maybe I should introduce myself again since I've been absent fro so long ;D No really- you havn't seen more from me then the occasional life info update and I'm sorry.
I've been upset about myself not really getting any private drawing and learning done after doing my comissioned work and I think I need to change that. So today I decided to set a challenge to myself and try to work on some new idea, medium or anything per week. I'll post my ideads and results and I'd really love for some of you to join in. You can try your hands on the challenge (I'll try to include variants for artists as well as beginners), comment on the challenge outcome or suggest new themes. This isn't really a teaching thing since I don't know how things will work out in the end - its more about trying things out together.
( Mixed Media Experiments 1 Collapse )
please - if you decide to try something I'd love to see it!
I've been upset about myself not really getting any private drawing and learning done after doing my comissioned work and I think I need to change that. So today I decided to set a challenge to myself and try to work on some new idea, medium or anything per week. I'll post my ideads and results and I'd really love for some of you to join in. You can try your hands on the challenge (I'll try to include variants for artists as well as beginners), comment on the challenge outcome or suggest new themes. This isn't really a teaching thing since I don't know how things will work out in the end - its more about trying things out together.
( Mixed Media Experiments 1 Collapse )
please - if you decide to try something I'd love to see it!
- Current Location:Germany, Bochum
Its December again and life is hectic as always. Last post I told you I'm going to try work on some Art Exchange pictures despite my full schedule and I've actually filled my first slot (though I'll have to leave the scannoing and sending the picture to flame_song for the moment since my scanner isn't working right now)
Art Exchange - For those of you who still read my infrequent Journal and don't know whats going on:
Its sort of a gift for gift game - you give me a theme, chacracter, picture idea - and I draw it. (Quickshot - I get to choose my own style and medium and you'll have to live with what I come up with)
In exchange you get me a book or story, preferrably your own or one you think I should read. (This used to be physical books only, but since I got my kindle, I can accept ebooks, so you have an option without shipping costs, if this is the dealbreaker. I've also traded for other crafed items in exchange - your turn to get creative - its basically one creative thing against the other.)
New rule - requests are one at a time right now since I just don't know how many I'll get done. I have a free slot right now - so if you want a picture just reply below.
All pictures will be posted, so even if you don't participate you'll have something to look at :)
if you really have no clue for a gift book (or fear getting duplicates) my current amazon wishlist is here:
http://www.amazon.de/registry/wishlist/2
In other news I'm making christmas plans, hunting for presents, playing changeling and despairing over the print side of doing designs. I got myself a book on the subject right now - we'll see if it helps .. I'm spending a lot of time withflame_song which means we don't get much done but are in much better spirits not-getting-things-done. I'm still doing Covers for Elysion Books, doing illustrations for the upcoming Mantikor RPG magazine , some ebook and music covers for wfeather and a bit of logo and webdesign and whatever else comes my way.
On the scale between feeling underpaid versus feeling inept I'm more on the inept side right now. Maybe just the mixture of days getting shorter and the printing mess I always find myself in.
flame_song for the moment since my scanner isn't working right now)Art Exchange - For those of you who still read my infrequent Journal and don't know whats going on:
Its sort of a gift for gift game - you give me a theme, chacracter, picture idea - and I draw it. (Quickshot - I get to choose my own style and medium and you'll have to live with what I come up with)
In exchange you get me a book or story, preferrably your own or one you think I should read. (This used to be physical books only, but since I got my kindle, I can accept ebooks, so you have an option without shipping costs, if this is the dealbreaker. I've also traded for other crafed items in exchange - your turn to get creative - its basically one creative thing against the other.)
New rule - requests are one at a time right now since I just don't know how many I'll get done. I have a free slot right now - so if you want a picture just reply below.
All pictures will be posted, so even if you don't participate you'll have something to look at :)
if you really have no clue for a gift book (or fear getting duplicates) my current amazon wishlist is here:
http://www.amazon.de/registry/wishlist/2
In other news I'm making christmas plans, hunting for presents, playing changeling and despairing over the print side of doing designs. I got myself a book on the subject right now - we'll see if it helps .. I'm spending a lot of time with
flame_song which means we don't get much done but are in much better spirits not-getting-things-done. I'm still doing Covers for Elysion Books, doing illustrations for the upcoming Mantikor RPG magazine , some ebook and music covers for wfeather and a bit of logo and webdesign and whatever else comes my way.On the scale between feeling underpaid versus feeling inept I'm more on the inept side right now. Maybe just the mixture of days getting shorter and the printing mess I always find myself in.
- Current Location:Bochum
While still waiting for the results of the lastest Cover print job ( it seems every time something goes wrong and I totally loose my nerves over that) I spent my weekend doing basically nothing but roleplaying and making cookies.
my former Ad&D and current Werewolf group gathered on Saturday, Changeling people got together on Sunday (Its still my obsession, I can't seem to get enough of it and I'm in some sort of TV Series like fangirl mode over our own characters and storylines..)
With christmas coming up,flame_song , sophia13 and I set out to make bake some christmas cookies (usually thats something I relly want to do, but never get around to) coming straight from changeling we covered everything in more colored sugar than a sane person can stand but it was lots of fun, and we even did our first Gingerbread houses ever.
They din't even fall apart by now, so I guess we did a decent job and had lots of fun.
After all this acting like a kid, its sort of hard to get myself into the right mood to work right now :)
oh -wfeather: I did some sketches but my scanner doesn't seem to work right now..
my former Ad&D and current Werewolf group gathered on Saturday, Changeling people got together on Sunday (Its still my obsession, I can't seem to get enough of it and I'm in some sort of TV Series like fangirl mode over our own characters and storylines..)
With christmas coming up,
flame_song , sophia13 and I set out to make bake some christmas cookies (usually thats something I relly want to do, but never get around to) coming straight from changeling we covered everything in more colored sugar than a sane person can stand but it was lots of fun, and we even did our first Gingerbread houses ever. They din't even fall apart by now, so I guess we did a decent job and had lots of fun.
After all this acting like a kid, its sort of hard to get myself into the right mood to work right now :)
oh -
wfeather: I did some sketches but my scanner doesn't seem to work right now.. Happy birthday, kerimaya !
I don't even know how long its been since I've last updated .. definitely since before my birthday and my trip to spain withflame_song and sophia13.
I'd love to promise I'll catch up with all that, but its rather unlikely. I've just been an awful online friend and I'm sorry. I'm surprised you're still reading this and havn't given me up. I just seem to be so busy with life that I never get anything done - I managed putting off calling a freind back for a few month now...
ah well..
I've been thinking about the art/book exchange thing a lot. I guess - despite being very busy, I still want to do that one again. Catch is - please, this time - only post a new request when the old one has been done since I really can't promise how many of them I manage to squeeze in.
wfeather would be in slot No1 since he already asked me beforehand. - so - if and when I get his picture done you're free to request a new one. I'll do an official announcement post later (I hope) but the rules stay more or less the same so you already know whats going on. One change - since I've got a Kindle now, I can accept ebooks :D I guess that should make things a little simpler.
kerimaya !I don't even know how long its been since I've last updated .. definitely since before my birthday and my trip to spain with
flame_song and sophia13.I'd love to promise I'll catch up with all that, but its rather unlikely. I've just been an awful online friend and I'm sorry. I'm surprised you're still reading this and havn't given me up. I just seem to be so busy with life that I never get anything done - I managed putting off calling a freind back for a few month now...
ah well..
I've been thinking about the art/book exchange thing a lot. I guess - despite being very busy, I still want to do that one again. Catch is - please, this time - only post a new request when the old one has been done since I really can't promise how many of them I manage to squeeze in.
wfeather would be in slot No1 since he already asked me beforehand. - so - if and when I get his picture done you're free to request a new one. I'll do an official announcement post later (I hope) but the rules stay more or less the same so you already know whats going on. One change - since I've got a Kindle now, I can accept ebooks :D I guess that should make things a little simpler.- Current Location:Germany, Blowatz
- Current Mood:
cheerful
I sort of saw flame_song off (ok, she'll only be gone tomorrow, but still) who will be in Berlin for a while and I feel already lonely..
Well, at least the last days were fun. We played the first changeling chronicle again and our kid charcters managed to organize a school wide party despite being total newcomers themselves. Also - intrigue is on the horizon and my 10 year old Sidhe girl in love at first sight with a teenage bad boy sidhe :)
My website got hacked, and I didn't notice. Seems nothing is broken though. I just removed the notice that it was hacked. Since I really want a new design anyway, I might reorganize everything over the next weeks. Or not, if I got too much to do. We'll see. I'm not so bid on personala projects this year.
At least teh artist table at the next fantasy con is confirmed (though I mixted some stuff up with the descriptions and the computer ate my first application.) The Feencon in Bonn should be fun.
Speaking of fun and not getting around to do stuff : I caved in and got a Steam account. I have to admit I never liked the idea so much but then Recettear at 3,99 was an incentive I couldn't say no to. If that game doesn't say anything to you and you like cute stuff, anime and RPGs, there is a demo. It should get you hooked. At least I was but that time I had neither time nor money. OK, not so much improvement, but for the price I guess its OK to just have it even if I hardly get around to play it.
last but not least I saw the call for art submissions by the magic times magazine and realized I had an older, almost finished picture. So I finished that one off and sent it in. I won't get paid, but a bit of promotion never hurts, right?
flame_song off (ok, she'll only be gone tomorrow, but still) who will be in Berlin for a while and I feel already lonely..Well, at least the last days were fun. We played the first changeling chronicle again and our kid charcters managed to organize a school wide party despite being total newcomers themselves. Also - intrigue is on the horizon and my 10 year old Sidhe girl in love at first sight with a teenage bad boy sidhe :)
My website got hacked, and I didn't notice. Seems nothing is broken though. I just removed the notice that it was hacked. Since I really want a new design anyway, I might reorganize everything over the next weeks. Or not, if I got too much to do. We'll see. I'm not so bid on personala projects this year.
At least teh artist table at the next fantasy con is confirmed (though I mixted some stuff up with the descriptions and the computer ate my first application.) The Feencon in Bonn should be fun.
Speaking of fun and not getting around to do stuff : I caved in and got a Steam account. I have to admit I never liked the idea so much but then Recettear at 3,99 was an incentive I couldn't say no to. If that game doesn't say anything to you and you like cute stuff, anime and RPGs, there is a demo. It should get you hooked. At least I was but that time I had neither time nor money. OK, not so much improvement, but for the price I guess its OK to just have it even if I hardly get around to play it.
last but not least I saw the call for art submissions by the magic times magazine and realized I had an older, almost finished picture. So I finished that one off and sent it in. I won't get paid, but a bit of promotion never hurts, right?
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